Fear of rejection can keep us playing small. It can stop us from sharing our ideas, pursuing opportunities or being ourselves because we worry about being judged or turned down.
EFT tapping can help us work through the emotions and beliefs behind this fear. In this article, I’ll explore how rejection holds us back and share a tapping script to help you address it.
Safer to play safe
Whether it’s not being invited to the party, being passed over for a job, or feeling unseen in a relationship, rejection stings and leaves a mark on our psyche. Over time, those experiences shape how we show up in the world. We start playing it safe, avoiding situations where rejection might happen. But the trouble is that when we try to protect ourselves from rejection, we can end up holding back from the things we truly want, like love or career progression, and miss out on so much.
Fear of rejection is very common and deeply human. In fact, it is considered one of the ten most common fears, and some claim it may even be hardwired into our DNA.
How the fear of rejection stops us from going after what we really want
Fear of rejection isn’t just a mindset. It is deeply rooted in your nervous system. In fact, rejection activates the same areas of the brain as physical pain. And when it echoes past experiences like childhood neglect, bullying, or criticism, the emotional impact can be even more intense.
You might recognize this fear showing up as:
- Avoiding vulnerability in relationships
- Worrying too much about what others think
- Holding back from creative or professional risks
- People-pleasing or striving for perfection
These behaviours are often ways of protecting ourselves and trying to stay safe. But over time, they can hold us back.
From hiding to healing
While fear of rejection can feel overwhelming, it doesn’t have to control your life and it is possible to overcome it. There is a way to release the fear behind these patterns, so you can stop hiding and start showing up more fully as yourself.
Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT), also known as tapping, provide a simple yet powerful method for reducing the emotional intensity of rejection and gently transforming the limiting beliefs that may be holding you back.
EFT, or tapping, is a mind-body technique that combines tapping on specific points on the face and upper body with a focus on emotions, thoughts or difficult experiences. By focusing on how you feel as you tap, you can work through the emotional intensity associated with rejection and explore the beliefs that may be holding you back.
Preparing to tap
What is a tapping script?
A tapping script is a written guide with phrases you say out loud or repeat silently while practising EFT tapping. It helps you focus on a specific issue, such as fear of rejection, as you tap on various points on the body.
Use the phrases as a starting point and adapt them to match your feelings and experience. If something doesn’t resonate, change it or leave it out. Be as specific as possible about what you’re feeling.
How to Use This EFT Tapping Script
As you tap, say the words out loud while gently tapping on each point. Before you begin, rate how intense the emotion feels on a scale from 0 to 10 — 0 being no intensity, and 10 being very strong. After each round of tapping, check your rating again. Keep going, adjusting the words as needed, until your intensity level drops to 1 or 0. If you find yourself stuck around a 4 or 5, and you can’t shift it, you can contact me for advice.
If you ever feel triggered or overwhelmed, stop using words and just keep tapping in silence until you feel calmer. And remember, if you feel stuck or would like some guidance, you’re welcome to contact me. I’ll be happy to help you explore how EFT can support you.
Tapping points
Quick recap on how to tap:
Tap on the side of the hand (9) as you say the set up statements out loud.
Go through the rest of the points, using the script for the phrases. Sequence 2,3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 1.
Tapping script
Side of the hand + Set up Statements:
Even though I’m afraid of being rejected, I deeply and completely accept how I feel.
Even though I have this fear of rejection, I acknowledge it’s only a feeling and I am still a good person.
Even though I have this fear of being rejected, I am creating a safe space for myself as I tap on this feeling.
Then, tap through the other points, saying the phrases:
Eyebrow: I have this fear of rejection
Side of the Eye: Fear of rejection
Under the Eye: This fear of rejection
Under the Nose: Fear of being rejected
Chin: Fear of rejection
Collarbone: It’s so horrible to feel rejected
Under the Arm: I don’t want to be rejected
Top of the Head: I have this fear of rejection
Eyebrow: This fear of rejection
Side of the Eye: What if they don’t like me?
Under the Eye: What if they don’t want me?
Under the Nose: What if I am cast away?
Chin: I don’t want to be the odd one
Collarbone: I don’t want to be rejected
Under the Arm: I have this fear
Top of the Head: This fear of rejection
Eyebrow: I know rejection is part of life
Side of the Eye: Rejection is part of the game
Under the Eye: I may be turned down for a job
Under the Nose: Or someone may ignore me
Chin: It doesn’t mean I am a bad person
Collarbone: It’s just that I feel rejected
Under the Arm: and it hurts
Top of the Head: And I don’t want to hurt
Eyebrow: So I could choose to see things differently
Side of the Eye: because I am a good person
Under the Eye: I am a good person
Under the Nose: I choose to believe in something different
Chin: that it means better things are coming to me
Collarbone: It is a way to correct my direction
Under the Arm: So I can focus on other opportunities
Top of the Head: And other people
Eyebrow: It is safe to know that I am a good person
Side of the Eye: It is safe to know that I am enough
Under the Eye: It is safe to know that there are peopele who love me
Under the Nose: It is safe to know that I am enough
Chin: I am enough
Collarbone: I am enough as a person
Under the Arm: I am a human being
Top of the Head: And I am enough
Checking in with yourself
Take a moment to tune into your feelings again. Has the intensity of your fear of rejection changed? Do you feel a little more accepting of yourself? Have you noticed a particular memory or experience connected to your fear of rejection?
Remember that every small shift matters. Take a few slow, deep breaths between rounds and give yourself time to focus on your feelings.
I hope you found this tapping session helpful.
Daphne
Daphne
Request a tapping script
If you have any requests or suggestions for EFT tapping scripts, I’d love to hear from you. You’re welcome to contact me. I’ll do my best to post it here on the blog as soon as possible.
EFT can help you work through a variety of difficult emotions, including anxiety, stress and self-doubt.
If you’d like to explore EFT further, take a look at my EFT Tapping Scripts for Calm, with guided exercises to help you navigate challenging feelings at your own pace.
If you have a specific concern and aren’t sure whether EFT could help, please feel free to contact me.
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